I must be too annoying 4 u.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
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I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
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So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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