There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
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so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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