there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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