You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
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its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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