Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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