Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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