ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize