somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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