have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
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Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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