Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
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Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
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I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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