Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize