I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize