Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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