Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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