So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
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I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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