nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize