Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
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