Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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