Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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