and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
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I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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