So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
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He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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