dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize