Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
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St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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