i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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