In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
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I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
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He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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