Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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