the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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