I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize