He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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