In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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