who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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