Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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