dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
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When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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