your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize