he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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