Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
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Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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