Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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