woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
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