he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
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Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
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Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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