Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize