I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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