If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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