Taylor Swift is so right about you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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