when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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