He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize