Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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