Sry I called you an 8
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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