its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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