The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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