how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize